I had every intention of writing about something different today,
but then I saw something that stuck in my craw.
Then I saw something that disturbed me.
Finally I learned something from a friend
that I would never have known
without a little guidance from the urban dictionary.
Amazingly they are all related,
though as I tell you about them separately
you may wonder how in the world they possibly could be,
but they are,
and it was all too much for me
not to use this platform to make a commentary about it.
First thing this morning, my Facebook feed
told me about a viral video that had been shared on a friend's timeline.
I am curious and the wonderful anonymity
that Facebook allows me
lets my stalker tendencies run amok.
This is the video...
So aside from the very obvious lack of vocal talent present in the video,
and the overall seemingly positive message,
I find one of the lyrics questionable.
I have both daughters and sons so these words gave me pause.
" If you only knew what I could see,
You'd understand why I need your modesty."
Wait a second. Are they saying what I think they saying?
Have they just made what they think of me my responsibility?
That is two steps shy of saying that a girl was asking for it based on what she was wearing.
Guess what guys, (and girls)
last time I checked,
you are responsible for your own thought life- not me.
That is not to say
that I didn't encourage my older daughter
to wear appropriately modest attire
that was suited to whatever event or environment she might be in.
I certainly preferred her to be covered
and more importantly comfortable,
which modest attire tends to be,
more so than things that are short, tight, or revealing.
Guess what though,
the concept of modesty is very cultural.
What we consider extremely modest in this country
could be considered indecent
by some cultural standards in the world today.
So is it always the girl's responsibility
to never go out
unless covered head to toe,
lest some poor unsuspecting young man
be tempted into impure thoughts
or
do we teach our sons
and daughters
that their perceptions are their own responsibility
and that those thoughts are controllable for most of us.
Of course, media
would love to help teach us
what perceptions
we should be having
and therein
is where the problem mostly lies.
Despite generations of messages
teaching us about gender equality
and female empowerment,
the messages were always mixed, and still are,
telling us that in order to please our male counterparts
and other women as well,
we would have to be sexy but modest,
smart but subservient,
thin but healthy,
and a whole slew of other
often contradictory
ideals.
It's enough to make a girl go insane,
and a guy too
since he most likely
has no idea
what he's really supposed to think
about a girl
or how to treat her
after all the years
of media brain washing.
Interlude:
this is not an essay on the merits of feminism,
just an observation
on how skewed
the world has really become.
This leads me to the second thing I saw on Facebook today
that disturbed me so much I was shaking and crying.
It was a video of men with machine guns
systematically killing other defenseless men
who had been tied up and placed face down in the dirt side by side.
It was not a simulation,
it was real documentary footage and it was horrifying,
and it was on Facebook for any and all to see.
That video I will not link.
I wish I hadn't seen what I did see
and I didn't watch all of it.
BUT
it took years for Facebook and Instagram
to allow perfectly innocent images
of women breastfeeding their babies
to be in the feed without removal.
You can literally show
a video of people being shot in the head,
but God forbid
we see the nipple of a nursing mom
or a three year old little girl in the bathtub-
of course
if the girl looks closer to 16
and is wearing pasties
then it is a-ok!
The final thing that caused a blip in my radar today
was a euphemism from the urban dictionary
that I did not know existed before today.
My friend did not know before today either
which is why she shared about it.
She did not define it,
but instead let us go look it up
for ourselves at our own discretion.
Enlightening.
I will be just as classy and only link it for you.
Suffice it to say
that it references things
a person is supposedly
willing to do,
or asking for
if they are wearing a particular item of clothing-
what some would consider
modest clothing,
mind you.
"If you knew what, I could see, you would know why I need your modesty"
or should it be
"Your perception of me, is once again my responsibility"
Even though your perception and information may be in fact seriously flawed?
So what's my point? Do I even have one, you may be asking.
I do have a point and it is this...
This is a very mixed up world and time in history.
It's also an exciting and wonderful time in history
because even the least of us
can make observations and find incongruities in this world,
and then find a voice
and a platform
to begin a conversation.
A conversation
that more and more people
will be able to hear
and join in on
because of the remarkable time in history we live in.
Of course, there are those who want to join the conversation
not with the aim to discuss,
but ultimately to persuade, dominate, and control.
Don't let them.
Don't let their perceptions
be your responsibility-
get them to think!
Keep observing,
keep conversing,
keep finding new platforms.
As photographers and artists,
we have a wonderfully unique position
to do just that,
and our images
can be worth
so much
more
than just
a thousand words.
If this post got you to thinking and
if you happen to be in the L.A. area this weekend,
you might want to check out this show
before it closes- which is this weekend.
Why do we censor some things and not others?
Love and Blessings.
Julie
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